1
00:01:01,230 --> 00:01:03,008
BRENDON, THE POLICEMAN SAID
THAT YOU WERE RIDING
2
00:01:03,032 --> 00:01:04,399
ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD.
3
00:01:04,468 --> 00:01:07,969
SO, UNFORTUNATELY
YOU MIGHT BE AT FAULT.
4
00:01:08,037 --> 00:01:09,805
FAULT?
FAULT, SCHMAULT.
5
00:01:09,874 --> 00:01:11,741
THEY CAN'T PROVE CRAP.
6
00:01:11,809 --> 00:01:13,086
SHOULD'VE FLED THE SCENE——
NEXT TIME...
7
00:01:13,110 --> 00:01:14,656
NEXT TIME?
NO NEXT TIME, BRENDON.
8
00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:15,979
YOU COULD'VE REALLY GOTTEN HURT.
9
00:01:16,047 --> 00:01:18,047
I KNOW.
10
00:01:18,116 --> 00:01:19,828
WAIT A MINUTE——WHERE'S MY BIKE?
WHAT HAPPENED...?
11
00:01:19,852 --> 00:01:20,863
WE NEED TO TURN AROUND.
12
00:01:20,887 --> 00:01:23,354
BRENDON, YOUR BIKE IS TOTALED.
13
00:01:23,423 --> 00:01:24,734
ACTUALLY, IT'S...
IT'S IN MY POCKET.
14
00:01:24,758 --> 00:01:26,925
HERE IT IS, I'M SORRY.
15
00:01:26,994 --> 00:01:29,562
GREAT—— I MOWED LAWNS FOR A YEAR
TO GET THAT BIKE.
16
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:31,864
I BOUGHT YOU THAT BIKE
FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.
17
00:01:31,933 --> 00:01:32,699
YOU'VE NEVER MOWED A LAWN
IN YOUR LIFE.
18
00:01:32,768 --> 00:01:35,502
THAT'S NOT THE POINT.
19
00:01:35,571 --> 00:01:37,705
LOOK, I HAVE A CONCUSSION, OKAY?
20
00:01:37,773 --> 00:01:39,752
AND I'M NOT EVEN SURE
WHO YOU ARE RIGHT NOW.
21
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'KAY?
MOM?
22
00:01:41,277 --> 00:01:42,543
UH—HUH.
23
00:01:42,613 --> 00:01:44,558
HEY, THERE'S ANOTHER LADY
IN THE CAR.
24
00:01:44,582 --> 00:01:44,980
WHAT'S THIS...?
WHAT'S...?
25
00:01:45,049 --> 00:01:45,415
WHO...?
26
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HELLO.
27
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HI, LITTLE BRENDON,
HOW'S YOUR BOO—BOO?
28
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HI, HI, YOU.
29
00:01:49,655 --> 00:01:50,487
HI.
30
00:01:50,556 --> 00:01:51,955
HI—— UH, WHO'S THIS?
31
00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:53,824
THIS IS STEPHANIE.
32
00:01:53,892 --> 00:01:54,525
I TOLD YOU THAT STEPHANIE
WAS GOING TO COME...
33
00:01:54,594 --> 00:01:56,260
HELLO.
34
00:01:56,330 --> 00:01:58,007
I WAS PICKING HER UP
FROM THE AIRPORT.
35
00:01:58,031 --> 00:01:59,108
REMEMBER, I TOLD YOU ABOUT
STEPHANIE, SHE'S...
36
00:01:59,132 --> 00:01:59,799
I'M JUST PASSING THROUGH.
37
00:01:59,867 --> 00:02:00,933
JUST PASSING THROUGH.
38
00:02:01,001 --> 00:02:02,668
WE KNEW EACH OTHER IN COLLEGE.
39
00:02:02,737 --> 00:02:05,939
SORORITY SISTERS——PHI DELTS.
40
00:02:06,007 --> 00:02:08,119
ACTUALLY, UM, I WASN'T IN THE
SORORITY—— THAT WAS ISABELLA.
41
00:02:08,143 --> 00:02:09,075
NO, NO, NO——
WE PLEDGED TOGETHER.
42
00:02:09,144 --> 00:02:11,278
YOU WERE THERE.
43
00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:13,693
ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, UM, WE MET
THROUGH ISABELLA, REMEMBER?
44
00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:16,518
OH, ISABELLA—— I LOVE HER
SO MUCH, SHE IS THE BEST.
45
00:02:16,587 --> 00:02:17,853
YEAH, SHE SOUNDS GREAT.
46
00:02:17,921 --> 00:02:19,201
WHICH ONE OF YOU
IS MY MOM AGAIN?
47
00:02:20,492 --> 00:02:22,792
BLESS YOU——I KNOW HER.
SHE'S MY BROTHER.
48
00:02:22,861 --> 00:02:24,706
GOD, I THINK JOSIE'S
COMING DOWN WITH SOMETHING.
49
00:02:24,730 --> 00:02:26,342
I'M PROBABLY GOING TO HAVE TO
TAKE HER TO THE DOCTOR, TOO...
50
00:02:26,366 --> 00:02:28,477
YOU KNOW, I TALKED TO ISABELLA
A MONTH AGO.
51
00:02:28,501 --> 00:02:30,880
SHE'S STILL IN ENGLAND
WITH JACOB—— SHE SOUNDED GREAT.
52
00:02:30,904 --> 00:02:31,737
I SHOULD CALL HER, ACTUALLY.
53
00:02:31,805 --> 00:02:33,138
YOU SHOULD CALL HER.
54
00:02:33,206 --> 00:02:35,006
REMEMBER HOW WE USED
55
00:02:35,075 --> 00:02:38,010
TO SPEAK IN AUSTRALIAN ACCENTS
SO WE'D FOOL GUYS AT BARS?
56
00:02:38,079 --> 00:02:39,790
HELLO, I'M FROM AUSTRALIA.
57
00:02:39,814 --> 00:02:42,949
LAND HO, GUV'NUH.
58
00:02:43,018 --> 00:02:44,396
I DON'T THINK I WAS THERE
WHEN YOU DID THAT.
59
00:02:44,420 --> 00:02:46,461
I'M CONFUSED——
ARE WE DROPPING HER OFF?
60
00:02:56,902 --> 00:02:59,302
DUE TO MY UNFORESEEN INJURY,
I REGRET TO ANNOUNCE
61
00:02:59,370 --> 00:03:02,139
A SLIGHT SETBACK IN OUR CURRENT
PRODUCTION THE, UH,
62
00:03:02,208 --> 00:03:04,475
SLAPSTICK BARBARIAN PROJECT.
63
00:03:04,543 --> 00:03:06,812
WELL, CAN'T WE, UM, RECAST YOU?
64
00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:08,780
YEAH, WE CAN JUST GRAB ANYBODY
OFF THE STREET.
65
00:03:08,849 --> 00:03:10,493
HEY, IF I THOUGHT
THERE WAS ANOTHER ACTOR
66
00:03:10,517 --> 00:03:12,096
OUT THERE CAPABLE OF DOING
WHAT I DO THEN, YOU KNOW,
67
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:13,285
IN A HEARTBEAT I WOULD...
68
00:03:13,354 --> 00:03:14,465
BUT... BUT THAT'S NOT
GOING TO HAPPEN
69
00:03:14,489 --> 00:03:16,188
AND WE'RE ALREADY
HALFWAY FINISHED.
70
00:03:16,257 --> 00:03:16,890
IT... IS THE TAPE IN THERE?
71
00:03:16,959 --> 00:03:18,592
YEAH.
72
00:03:18,661 --> 00:03:21,629
HERE, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THIS
AND SEE WHAT WE HAVE SO FAR.
73
00:03:28,039 --> 00:03:30,406
SO, UH, WE GOT SOME WORK TO DO.
74
00:03:30,475 --> 00:03:32,053
WHAT IF WE WROTE
FUNNIER DIALOGUE
75
00:03:32,077 --> 00:03:34,088
AND DIDN'T RELY SO MUCH
ON THE VIOLENCE?
76
00:03:34,112 --> 00:03:36,279
YEAH.
77
00:03:36,349 --> 00:03:37,794
NO, RIGHT—— NO, NO, NO, NO,
I... I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.
78
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,016
JOKES—— JOKES.
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00:03:39,085 --> 00:03:41,085
YEAH, WE'LL WRITE SOME JOKES.
80
00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:41,619
YOU GUYS, UH, GET...
GET THE PENS OUT.
81
00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:42,788
OKAY.
82
00:03:42,857 --> 00:03:44,357
LET'S, UM, GET COOKING.
83
00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:46,392
LET'S GET THIS THING,
UH, MOVING.
84
00:03:46,461 --> 00:03:48,373
BRENDON, HOW ABOUT YOU ASK
JASON WHAT TIME IT IS?
85
00:03:48,397 --> 00:03:50,630
UH, OKAY, UH, WHAT TIME IS IT?
86
00:03:50,699 --> 00:03:53,334
UH, 7:00—ISH.
87
00:03:53,403 --> 00:03:55,169
IS THAT IT?
88
00:03:55,238 --> 00:03:56,515
I WAS HOPING THAT
WOULD GET YOU GUYS STARTED.
89
00:03:56,539 --> 00:03:57,650
LET'S DO THIS, OKAY?
90
00:03:57,674 --> 00:03:58,918
I'M A BARBARIAN,
SO ARE YOU, JASON...
91
00:03:58,942 --> 00:04:01,276
OH, I HAVE A GOOD, UM, JOKE.
92
00:04:01,345 --> 00:04:02,489
OH, YEAH?
OKAY, LET'S HEAR IT.
93
00:04:02,513 --> 00:04:03,758
IF WE'RE BOTH BARBARIANS, RIGHT?
94
00:04:03,782 --> 00:04:05,348
RIGHT, SURE.
95
00:04:05,417 --> 00:04:07,717
THEN I WOULD COME UP TO YOU
AND SAY "UM, EXCUSE ME,
96
00:04:07,786 --> 00:04:10,954
CAN I 'AX' YOU A QUESTION?"
97
00:04:11,023 --> 00:04:12,601
THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.
98
00:04:12,625 --> 00:04:14,070
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW...
IT'S KIND OF A PLAY ON WORDS.
99
00:04:14,094 --> 00:04:15,660
WE BOTH HAVE BATTLE AXES.
100
00:04:15,729 --> 00:04:18,264
YEAH... RIGHT, I GOT IT, YEAH.
101
00:04:18,332 --> 00:04:19,665
AND THEN YOU'RE, LIKE,
102
00:04:19,734 --> 00:04:21,467
"WHAT KIND OF QUESTION
WOULD YOU 'AX' ME?"
103
00:04:21,536 --> 00:04:23,202
RIGHT.
104
00:04:23,271 --> 00:04:26,973
AND I WOULD, LIKE "WELL, I HAVE
A LOT OF QUESTIONS TO 'AX' YOU"
105
00:04:27,042 --> 00:04:29,977
AND THEN YOU WOULD SAY, LIKE,
"WELL, 'AX' AWAY,"
106
00:04:30,046 --> 00:04:31,323
AND THEN I WOULD SAY, LIKE...
107
00:04:31,347 --> 00:04:32,447
WE GET IT.
108
00:04:32,516 --> 00:04:34,216
"WHICH SHOULD I 'AX' FIRST?"
109
00:04:34,285 --> 00:04:35,484
WE GET IT—— I'M GOING TO...
110
00:04:35,553 --> 00:04:36,952
AND, BRENDON, YOU WOULD SAY,
111
00:04:37,021 --> 00:04:38,265
"I DON'T KNOW.
"JUST PICK ONE TO 'AX'..."
112
00:04:38,289 --> 00:04:39,489
YOU GUYS, I'M GOING TO...
113
00:04:39,558 --> 00:04:41,636
"RIGHT NOW,"
AND THEN I WOULD SAY...
114
00:04:41,660 --> 00:04:43,405
IT'S BASICALLY... YOU'RE PLAYING
ON THE WORD "AX," I THINK.
115
00:04:43,429 --> 00:04:44,896
YES, BUT FOR A LONG TIME.
116
00:04:44,964 --> 00:04:47,331
BUT YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE AXES,
YOU HAVE CLUBS.
117
00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:48,511
YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW
THIS IS LIKE...
118
00:04:48,535 --> 00:04:49,713
NO, BARBAR... OH.
119
00:04:49,737 --> 00:04:51,136
YEAH.
120
00:04:51,204 --> 00:04:52,638
SO MAYBE SOMETHING ABOUT
121
00:04:52,706 --> 00:04:54,184
"HEY, YOU WANT TO GO
TO THAT NEW CLUB?"
122
00:04:54,208 --> 00:04:54,974
RIGHT.
123
00:04:55,043 --> 00:04:55,675
I DON'T LIKE THAT ONE.
124
00:04:55,744 --> 00:04:57,944
MMM.
125
00:04:58,012 --> 00:04:59,947
I'M VERY SPIRITUAL NOW.
126
00:05:00,015 --> 00:05:01,915
UM, I GUESS I BELIEVE
THAT EVERYTHING
127
00:05:01,984 --> 00:05:03,416
HAPPENS FOR A REASON, YOU KNOW?
128
00:05:03,485 --> 00:05:04,630
RIGHT, YEAH.
129
00:05:04,654 --> 00:05:06,888
MM—HMM, AND IT'S KARMA, TOO.
130
00:05:06,957 --> 00:05:08,301
BUT I... I HAVE
THESE NEW CHINESE FRIENDS NOW
131
00:05:08,325 --> 00:05:10,459
AND THEY ARE GREAT.
132
00:05:10,527 --> 00:05:14,296
AND, UM, THEY'VE TAUGHT ME SO
MUCH... SO MUCH, UM, CHINESE.
133
00:05:14,365 --> 00:05:16,010
WELL, YEAH, YOU SOUND BUSY,
YOU SOUND...
134
00:05:16,034 --> 00:05:19,402
OH, I AM——ARE YOU KIDDING?
I AM.
135
00:05:19,471 --> 00:05:20,004
HEY, HOW'S YOUR HUSBAND?
136
00:05:20,073 --> 00:05:21,505
RICHARD?
137
00:05:21,574 --> 00:05:25,010
HE'S FANTASTIC. FANTASTIC GUY.
138
00:05:25,079 --> 00:05:26,544
BUSY AS A BEE—— BIZ, BUZZ, BUZZ.
139
00:05:26,613 --> 00:05:28,080
YOU KNOW, HE'S DOING...
140
00:05:28,148 --> 00:05:31,084
HE'S DOING EVERY... EVERY...
EVERYTHING.
141
00:05:31,152 --> 00:05:32,986
HOW ABOUT YOU?
ANY MEN?
142
00:05:33,054 --> 00:05:36,790
OH NO, NOT NOW——NOPE, UH—UH.
143
00:05:36,859 --> 00:05:38,370
GOD, I HAVEN'T SEEN RICHARD
SINCE YOUR WEDDING.
144
00:05:38,394 --> 00:05:40,239
WOW, THAT WAS LIKE, UM,
FIVE YEARS AGO.
145
00:05:40,263 --> 00:05:42,230
YUP, FIVE YEARS, YUP, YUP, YUP.
146
00:05:42,299 --> 00:05:44,565
OH, MY GOD!
147
00:05:44,634 --> 00:05:46,769
WE SHOULD TOTALLY
GO OUT DANCING!
148
00:05:46,837 --> 00:05:49,338
YOU AND ME, COME ON——
THE SORORITY SISTERS, THE GIRLS.
149
00:05:49,407 --> 00:05:50,172
I DON'T KNOW—— BRENDON'S IN BAD
SHAPE, JOSIE'S GOT A COLD...
150
00:05:50,241 --> 00:05:51,474
OH, COME ON—...
151
00:05:51,543 --> 00:05:53,076
IT'LL BE LIKE OLD TIMES.
152
00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:54,778
YEAH, UH, I DON'T THINK SO.
153
00:05:54,846 --> 00:05:57,215
HEY, HOW OFTEN DO YOU SEE ME?
154
00:05:57,284 --> 00:05:58,416
NEVER, REALLY.
155
00:05:58,484 --> 00:06:00,551
THAT'S RIGHT, SO YOU'RE COMING.
156
00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:01,731
YOU'RE COMING, WE'RE GOING——
LET'S GO.
157
00:06:01,755 --> 00:06:02,521
NO—— YOU KNOW WHAT, STEPHANIE?
158
00:06:02,589 --> 00:06:03,422
I'M REALLY SORRY, NO.
159
00:06:03,490 --> 00:06:05,657
OH, COME ON.
160
00:06:05,726 --> 00:06:07,727
I DON'T THINK SO.
161
00:06:07,796 --> 00:06:10,397
WELL, WELL, THAT'S OKAY.
YOU KNOW, UM...
162
00:06:10,465 --> 00:06:11,332
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
163
00:06:11,401 --> 00:06:13,834
I... I THINK I'M GOING TO GO.
164
00:06:13,903 --> 00:06:16,371
YEAH, I'M GOING TO GO OUT
DANCING BECAUSE I WANT TO.
165
00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:19,041
AND YOU SHOULD JUST HAVE...
YOU SHOULD GO.
166
00:06:19,109 --> 00:06:20,586
WELL, I WILL, AND I'LL BE BACK.
AND NOT TOO LATE.
167
00:06:20,610 --> 00:06:22,412
OKAY, DON'T DANCE TOO MUCH.
168
00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:25,014
HEY, I WON'T, DON'T WORRY.
169
00:06:25,083 --> 00:06:27,617
THANKS, MATE.
HAVE FUN.
170
00:06:27,686 --> 00:06:30,720
WHAT IF, UM, BRENDON,
YOU, UM... YOU'RE A BARBARIAN...
171
00:06:30,789 --> 00:06:31,588
UH—HUH, I LIKE IT.
172
00:06:31,657 --> 00:06:32,324
AND I'M A BARBARIAN...
173
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,225
RIGHT, YEAH.
174
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:38,831
THEN I COME UP TO YOU AND SAY,
"ACH, YOU ARE ACTING BARBARIC"
175
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,667
AND THEN YOU SAY,
"BECAUSE I'M A BARBARIAN."
176
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:42,436
ALL RIGHT, SHOULD WE TRY THAT?
177
00:06:42,504 --> 00:06:43,937
AND THEN I SAY, LIKE,
178
00:06:44,006 --> 00:06:47,575
"WELL, THAT STILL IS NO EXCUSE
FOR YOU BEING SO BARBARIC."
179
00:06:47,643 --> 00:06:50,203
AND THEN YOU SAY "I CAN'T HELP
IT BECAUSE I'M A BARBARIAN."
180
00:06:50,246 --> 00:06:52,080
JASON, I THINK YOU GOT TO LEARN
WHEN TO STOP
181
00:06:52,148 --> 00:06:53,726
BECAUSE YOU'RE STARTING OUT
STRONG BUT THEN
182
00:06:53,750 --> 00:06:55,784
THE MORE YOU DO IT,
IT'S NOT AS FUNNY ANYMORE.
183
00:06:55,853 --> 00:06:56,685
IT COMES AROUND.
184
00:06:56,753 --> 00:06:58,021
RIGHT.
185
00:06:58,090 --> 00:07:00,134
MELISSA IS NOT
REALLY ADDING ANYTHING
186
00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:02,270
SO WHY ARE YOU BEING SO,
UM, CRITICAL?
187
00:07:02,294 --> 00:07:04,661
THAT'S PART OF WHAT...
I'M TRYING TO HELP.
188
00:07:04,730 --> 00:07:05,596
OKAY, WELL, UM...
I THINK WE'RE HAVING...
189
00:07:05,664 --> 00:07:06,330
I THINK WE'RE...
190
00:07:06,399 --> 00:07:07,098
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
191
00:07:07,166 --> 00:07:07,866
WE'VE GOT A LOT...
192
00:07:07,935 --> 00:07:08,600
WHO'S WRITING THIS DOWN?
193
00:07:08,668 --> 00:07:10,502
I AM.
194
00:07:10,570 --> 00:07:12,448
SO READ THAT LAST THING BACK
TO ME AND REALLY SELL IT BIG.
195
00:07:12,472 --> 00:07:14,374
OKAY, JASON COMES IN
196
00:07:14,442 --> 00:07:16,609
AND HE SAYS, "YOU'RE ACTING
LIKE A BARBARIAN."
197
00:07:16,677 --> 00:07:17,717
"ACTING LIKE A BARBARIAN."
198
00:07:19,115 --> 00:07:20,225
AND THEN I STOPPED WRITING...
199
00:07:20,249 --> 00:07:22,182
THAT WAS NOT EVEN NEARLY...
200
00:07:22,251 --> 00:07:25,020
BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE I THINK
THE JOKE IS.
201
00:07:25,088 --> 00:07:25,921
NO, MELISSA, THE SCENE WENT ON
FOR ANOTHER THREE MINUTES.
202
00:07:25,989 --> 00:07:27,322
NO, BECAUSE THE...
203
00:07:27,390 --> 00:07:28,969
I KNOW, BUT THE...
IRONY OF YOU SAYING TO HIM...
204
00:07:28,993 --> 00:07:30,326
BRENDON, SHE'S, UM...
205
00:07:31,129 --> 00:07:32,594
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
206
00:07:32,663 --> 00:07:34,364
BECAUSE I THINK THE IRONY
OF IT IS FUNNY.
207
00:07:34,433 --> 00:07:35,699
I THINK I KNOW A FEW THI...
208
00:07:35,767 --> 00:07:37,567
I DON'T WANT MY SCENES EDITED
BY YOU, MELISSA.
209
00:07:37,602 --> 00:07:39,215
OKAY, WELL, UM,
THIS IS TOUGH AND, UH,
210
00:07:39,239 --> 00:07:41,806
I THINK I HATE DOING THIS.
211
00:07:46,848 --> 00:07:47,958
Stephanie:
I'M GOING TO FIND OUT
WHERE SHE KEEPS THE LIQUOR.
212
00:07:47,982 --> 00:07:50,283
OH, YEAH!
213
00:07:50,352 --> 00:07:52,096
Man:
HEY, HEY, DO THAT
AUSTRALIAN THING AGAIN.
214
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:53,865
YOU KNOW THAT...
215
00:07:53,889 --> 00:07:56,623
GOOD DAY, MARSUPIAL DINGO...
216
00:07:56,692 --> 00:07:57,891
MATE.
217
00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:59,628
KEEP GOING.
218
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:02,142
Paula:
HI. UH, I DON'T MEAN
TO BE RUDE, BUT, UM...
219
00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:03,676
HEY, MISSY.
220
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:05,401
HELLO, MISTER...
221
00:08:07,973 --> 00:08:10,340
YEAH, OKAY, THE NOISE
WOKE UP THE BABY.
222
00:08:10,409 --> 00:08:14,913
OH, OH, OH, I'M SO SORRY.
THIS IS PAULA.
223
00:08:14,982 --> 00:08:18,016
HEY, PAULA.
224
00:08:18,085 --> 00:08:18,817
OKAY.
225
00:08:18,886 --> 00:08:20,386
PAULA.
226
00:08:20,454 --> 00:08:22,574
YEAH, I HATE TO DO THIS
BUT IT IS 1:30 IN THE MORNING.
227
00:08:23,491 --> 00:08:25,225
COULD YOU CALL IT A NIGHT?
228
00:08:25,294 --> 00:08:26,626
OH, SURE, SURE—...
229
00:08:26,695 --> 00:08:28,695
OH, I'M SO SORRY.
230
00:08:28,764 --> 00:08:30,131
WHO THE HELL IS THAT?
231
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:34,169
OH, LITTLE B.
OH, WE WOKE YOU UP, I'M SORRY.
232
00:08:34,237 --> 00:08:37,139
UM, ACTUALLY, THE SMELL OF CHEAP
COLOGNE AND WHISKEY WOKE ME UP.
233
00:08:37,208 --> 00:08:38,107
I JUST CAME DOWN TO SEE WHOSE...
234
00:08:38,176 --> 00:08:39,541
WELL, OKAY, GREAT, THEN.
235
00:08:39,610 --> 00:08:42,056
THE NIGHT'S OVER,
EVERYBODY GO TO BED.
236
00:08:43,782 --> 00:08:45,382
AM I THAT LOUD WHEN I SLEEP?
237
00:08:45,451 --> 00:08:47,852
YOU KNOW, BRENDON,
LEARN A LESSON FROM TONIGHT.
238
00:08:47,921 --> 00:08:49,464
IF YOU'RE EVER A HOUSEGUEST,
DON'T BRING STRANGE MEN OVER.
239
00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:51,190
I CAN'T MAKE ANY PROMISES.
240
00:08:51,258 --> 00:08:53,491
WELL, AT LEAST NOT TRUMPETEERS.
241
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,439
YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY, I REMEMBER
HER BEING A LITTLE LESS...
242
00:08:55,463 --> 00:08:57,496
GREGARIOUS.
243
00:08:57,565 --> 00:09:00,433
WHAT, YOU MEAN, LIKE,
IN THE HIPS?
244
00:09:11,615 --> 00:09:12,759
DO YOU NEED SOME HELP
PUTTING THOSE AWAY?
245
00:09:12,783 --> 00:09:14,650
OH, SURE, THANKS—— SURE.
246
00:09:14,719 --> 00:09:17,420
Stephanie:
OW, OH, I'M SLEEPY.
247
00:09:17,489 --> 00:09:18,421
OH, YEAH?
248
00:09:18,490 --> 00:09:20,590
I'LL BE FINE.
249
00:09:20,659 --> 00:09:22,171
YOU KNOW I...
I WAS HOPING TO TALK TO YOU
250
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:23,706
ABOUT THAT GUY
YOU BROUGHT HOME LAST NIGHT.
251
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:24,929
OH, SURE—— WHAT?
252
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,866
I... I'M NOT SURE IF I...
253
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,145
OKAY, HERE'S THE THING,
STEPHANIE.
254
00:09:28,169 --> 00:09:29,847
I DON'T REALLY LIKE
EXPOSING MY KIDS
255
00:09:29,871 --> 00:09:31,181
TO STRANGE DRUNK MEN
INSIDE HERE.
256
00:09:31,205 --> 00:09:33,073
OH, LET ME APOLOGIZE FOR THAT.
257
00:09:33,142 --> 00:09:35,842
I THINK I HAD A FEW TOO MANY
YOU—KNOW—WHATS.
258
00:09:35,911 --> 00:09:37,589
DRINKS—— YEAH, YOU GUYS
WERE LOADED.
259
00:09:37,613 --> 00:09:39,413
YEAH, I GUESS I GOT
A LITTLE SILLY.
260
00:09:39,482 --> 00:09:42,350
BUT NO MORE DRUNK MEN——
I APOLOGIZE.
261
00:09:42,419 --> 00:09:43,618
DO WHAT YOU WANT AT HOME.
262
00:09:43,687 --> 00:09:45,187
I KNOW, I KNOW—— OKAY, OKAY.
263
00:09:45,256 --> 00:09:47,701
OH, UH, I GUESS
I REALLY MESSED UP, HUH?
264
00:09:47,725 --> 00:09:50,193
WELL, IT JUST, IT KIND OF
PUTS ME IN A WEIRD PLACE AND...
265
00:09:50,262 --> 00:09:52,396
IT PUTS YOU IN A WEIRD PLACE?
266
00:09:52,464 --> 00:09:53,508
I KEPT THINKING,
WHAT IF YOUR HUSBAND CALLED
267
00:09:53,532 --> 00:09:55,766
LOOKING FOR YOU
WHILE THAT GUY WAS HERE?
268
00:09:55,835 --> 00:09:58,536
WHOA, OKAY, PAULA,
YOU'RE ABOUT TO CROSS A LINE.
269
00:09:58,605 --> 00:09:59,871
I'M NOT JUDGING YOU.
270
00:09:59,940 --> 00:10:01,317
MM—HMM—— HEY, JUST,
PLEASE, OKAY?
271
00:10:02,577 --> 00:10:04,154
Paula:
HOLD ON TO THAT THOUGHT, THERE.
272
00:10:04,178 --> 00:10:06,945
UH, HI, SIR, CAN I HELP YOU?
273
00:10:07,014 --> 00:10:08,693
YEAH, I'VE GOT
A SUMMONS HERE
274
00:10:08,717 --> 00:10:10,950
FOR A BRENDON SMALL
TO APPEAR IN JUVENILE COURT.
275
00:10:11,019 --> 00:10:12,185
WHY?
276
00:10:12,254 --> 00:10:13,588
RACKETEERING.
277
00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:14,922
WHAT?
278
00:10:14,991 --> 00:10:15,991
OH, WAIT, LET'S SEE HERE.
279
00:10:17,694 --> 00:10:19,072
APPARENTLY, HE BROKE
THE LAW BY RIDING
280
00:10:19,096 --> 00:10:21,563
ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD
AND CAUSED AN ACCIDENT.
281
00:10:21,632 --> 00:10:22,431
HE HAS TO GO TO COURT FOR THAT?
282
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:24,134
HEY, DID I STUTTER?
283
00:10:24,202 --> 00:10:26,436
NO, BUT IT SOUNDED LIKE YOU
LISPED A FEW TIMES.
284
00:10:26,505 --> 00:10:28,639
DON'T MAKE ME "ARRETHT" YOU.
285
00:10:45,327 --> 00:10:46,226
BRENDON, WAKE UP.
286
00:10:46,295 --> 00:10:47,528
I AM AWAKE.
287
00:10:47,596 --> 00:10:49,364
THIS IS HOW I EAT.
288
00:10:49,432 --> 00:10:50,976
I'VE GOT TO TAKE YOUR SISTER
TO THE DOCTOR TODAY
289
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,645
AND I CAN'T TAKE YOU
TO YOUR COURT DATE.
290
00:10:52,669 --> 00:10:54,736
GOOD, I DON'T WANT TO GO ANYWAY.
291
00:10:54,805 --> 00:10:56,316
NO, YOU HAVE TO GO, BECAUSE
THEY'LL THROW YOU IN JAIL
292
00:10:56,340 --> 00:10:58,006
PLUS IT'LL MAKE ME LOOK BAD.
293
00:10:58,075 --> 00:10:59,609
HEY, LET THEM THROW ME IN JAIL.
294
00:10:59,678 --> 00:11:02,512
I'VE SEEN ESCAPE FROM ALCATRAZ,
AND THE ROCK
295
00:11:02,581 --> 00:11:04,493
AND THAT ATTICA DOCUMENTARY,
AND STRIPES...
296
00:11:04,517 --> 00:11:05,517
NO, BRENDON.
297
00:11:05,585 --> 00:11:06,317
AND GOODFELLAS...
298
00:11:06,386 --> 00:11:08,118
I'LL FIND YOU A RIDE.
299
00:11:08,188 --> 00:11:10,667
YOU KNOW WHAT, I CAN'T BELIEVE
I HAVE TO DEFEND MYSELF IN COURT
300
00:11:10,691 --> 00:11:12,057
FOR ALMOST GETTING KILLED.
301
00:11:12,125 --> 00:11:13,993
I LEARNED MY STUPID LESSON.
302
00:11:14,062 --> 00:11:15,373
DON'T THESE PEOPLE
HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO
303
00:11:15,397 --> 00:11:16,862
THAN REPRIMAND CHILDREN?
304
00:11:16,931 --> 00:11:18,431
I MEAN, WE'RE EASY TARGETS.
305
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:20,379
YOU'RE GOING TO GO,
AND I'M GOING TO FIND YOU A RIDE
306
00:11:20,403 --> 00:11:21,980
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T AFFORD
ANY MORE TROUBLE, BRENDON.
307
00:11:22,004 --> 00:11:23,770
UM, I CAN TAKE HIM.
308
00:11:23,839 --> 00:11:25,173
OH, NO.
309
00:11:25,242 --> 00:11:25,873
REALLY?
310
00:11:25,942 --> 00:11:27,375
SURE.
311
00:11:27,444 --> 00:11:29,412
WHEN DO YOU NEED ME TO DO IT?
312
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:30,624
RIGHT AFTER SOCCER PRACTICE,
RIGHT?
313
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,381
YEAH.
314
00:11:32,450 --> 00:11:33,483
THANKS, STEPHANIE.
315
00:11:33,551 --> 00:11:35,085
NO PROBLEM, REALLY.
316
00:11:35,154 --> 00:11:37,099
I MEAN, I'D...
I'D LOVE TO HELP OUT, OKAY?
317
00:11:37,123 --> 00:11:38,355
AS LONG AS I'M HERE, RIGHT?
318
00:11:38,424 --> 00:11:40,558
RIGHT, WELL, THANK YOU.
319
00:11:40,627 --> 00:11:43,395
YEAH, WHOOPIDY—DOO, STEPH.
THANKS A BUNCH.
320
00:11:47,001 --> 00:11:48,600
BRENDON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
321
00:11:48,669 --> 00:11:50,470
SOCCER PRACTICE IS OVER——
GET OUT OF HERE.
322
00:11:50,539 --> 00:11:52,450
I'M WAITING TO BE PICKED UP,
AND THEY'RE LATE.
323
00:11:52,474 --> 00:11:54,607
RIGHT—— WHAT'S REALLY
GOING ON HERE, BRENDON?
324
00:11:54,676 --> 00:11:56,088
YOU THINKING ABOUT
RUNNING AWAY OR SOMETHING?
325
00:11:56,112 --> 00:11:57,256
NO, I'M NOT GOING TO RUN AWAY.
326
00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:58,179
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING:
327
00:11:58,248 --> 00:11:59,981
YOU SHOULD——IT BUILDS CHARACTER.
328
00:12:00,050 --> 00:12:00,749
IS THAT A FACT?
329
00:12:00,818 --> 00:12:01,984
YEAH... I DID IT.
330
00:12:02,053 --> 00:12:04,386
RUNNING AWAY FROM HOME IS GREAT.
331
00:12:04,455 --> 00:12:07,123
WELL, THE FIRST TIME I RAN AWAY,
BRENDON, I WAS EIGHT,
332
00:12:07,192 --> 00:12:08,903
AND I WANTED TO GO
WORK ON AN OIL RIG.
333
00:12:08,927 --> 00:12:09,725
THAT WAS MY DREAM.
334
00:12:09,794 --> 00:12:11,095
RIGHT.
335
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:13,464
SO I POINTED MYSELF
IN THE DIRECTION OF ALASKA
336
00:12:13,532 --> 00:12:14,598
AND STARTED RUNNING.
337
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:15,800
HOW FAR DID YOU GET?
338
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:16,568
I GOT TO THE PIZZA PLACE.
339
00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:17,936
RIGHT.
340
00:12:18,005 --> 00:12:19,085
BUT I GOT A JOB THERE.
341
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:20,305
THAT'S NOT BAD.
342
00:12:20,374 --> 00:12:22,641
YEAH, AND UH...
THEY PRETTY MUCH RAISED ME—...
343
00:12:22,710 --> 00:12:23,809
THE GREEK GUY WHO OWNED IT.
344
00:12:23,878 --> 00:12:24,989
IS THAT TRUE?
345
00:12:25,013 --> 00:12:27,781
I CAME HOME ABOUT
LIKE 5 1/2 YEARS LATER
346
00:12:27,850 --> 00:12:30,484
WITH MY NEW GREEK DAD
AND MY GREEK MOM
347
00:12:30,552 --> 00:12:32,988
AND MY GREEK BROTHERS
AND SISTERS AND SAID
348
00:12:33,056 --> 00:12:35,101
"THIS IS MY NEW FAMILY"
AND INTRODUCED THEM
TO MY OLD FAMILY.
349
00:12:35,125 --> 00:12:35,890
HOW'D THE FOLKS TAKE IT?
350
00:12:35,959 --> 00:12:37,259
WE HAD A PARTY.
351
00:12:37,328 --> 00:12:38,760
YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD STORY.
352
00:12:38,829 --> 00:12:40,863
ALL RIGHT.
ANYWAY, WHAT WAS I SAYING?
353
00:12:40,931 --> 00:12:42,010
OH, YEAH, GET OUT OF HERE.
354
00:12:42,034 --> 00:12:43,333
WHERE IS SHE?
355
00:12:43,402 --> 00:12:45,313
LOOK, RICHARD,
WE HAVE BEEN GOING OVER THIS
356
00:12:45,337 --> 00:12:47,271
IT IS MY COUCH.
357
00:12:47,340 --> 00:12:48,039
Richard:
NO, IT'S NOT.
358
00:12:48,108 --> 00:12:49,148
RICHARD, I BOUGHT IT.
359
00:12:49,175 --> 00:12:50,108
Richard:
NO, I BOUGHT IT.
360
00:12:50,176 --> 00:12:51,376
BUT I PICKED IT OUT, RICHARD.
361
00:12:51,445 --> 00:12:52,277
Richard: NO, I PICKED OUT THE COUCH.
362
00:12:52,346 --> 00:12:54,713
I PICKED OUT THE RED COUCH.
363
00:12:54,781 --> 00:12:55,825
Richard:
STEPHANIE, YOU DIDN'T HAVE
ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS COUCH.
364
00:12:55,849 --> 00:12:58,551
OKAY, BUT IT WAS MY IDEA
TO GO SHOPPING.
365
00:12:58,620 --> 00:12:59,452
Richard:
IT WAS YOUR IDEA TO GO SHOPPING,
BUT...
366
00:12:59,521 --> 00:13:01,722
EXACTLY, THANK YOU.
367
00:13:01,790 --> 00:13:03,068
STEPHANIE, YOU'RE NOT GETTING
ANY OF THE COUCH,
368
00:13:03,092 --> 00:13:03,857
SO GET USED TO NOT HAVING
THAT COUCH!
369
00:13:03,926 --> 00:13:05,726
I AM GETTING HALF THAT COUCH!
370
00:13:05,794 --> 00:13:07,073
Richard:
I SHOULD'VE HAD YOU SIGN
A PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT.
371
00:13:07,097 --> 00:13:10,865
I SHOULD'VE HAD YOU SIGN
A PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT!
372
00:13:10,934 --> 00:13:11,945
Richard:
YOU'RE TOO EMOTIONAL——
I CAN'T LISTEN TO YOU.
373
00:13:11,969 --> 00:13:13,080
I HAVE EVERY RIGHT
TO BE EMOTIONAL.
374
00:13:13,104 --> 00:13:14,737
YOU HAVE MADE ME THIS WAY.
375
00:13:14,805 --> 00:13:15,405
Richard:
OH, EVERYTHING'S MY FAULT.
376
00:13:15,473 --> 00:13:16,739
THAT'S RIGHT.
377
00:13:16,807 --> 00:13:17,508
Richard:
I'M SITTING ON IT NOW.
378
00:13:17,576 --> 00:13:19,510
IT'S MY COUCH.
379
00:13:19,578 --> 00:13:20,277
Richard:
I'M LAYING ON IT!
380
00:13:20,346 --> 00:13:22,613
RICHARD!
381
00:13:22,682 --> 00:13:24,293
Richard:
YEAH, IT'S A GOOD COUCH.
382
00:13:24,317 --> 00:13:26,396
I'VE GOT MY SHOES ON THE COUCH—-
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?
383
00:13:26,420 --> 00:13:27,980
Richard:
THEY'RE THERE, AND YOU'RE GONE.
384
00:13:29,323 --> 00:13:33,693
THAT'S FOR YOUR COUCH...
AND YOUR STUPID CAR
385
00:13:33,762 --> 00:13:36,696
AND YOUR GOLF CLUBS
AND YOUR FACIAL STEAMER,
386
00:13:36,765 --> 00:13:37,932
AND YOUR... YOUR...
387
00:13:39,269 --> 00:13:41,669
YOUR DEODORIZER,
YOUR WATER PICK...
388
00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:43,872
AND YOUR MOTHER'S STUPID CHINA!
389
00:13:43,941 --> 00:13:45,374
THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING:
390
00:13:45,443 --> 00:13:47,187
YOU GET YOURSELF A PET
LIKE I HAVE A FISH, RIGHT?
391
00:13:47,211 --> 00:13:49,045
YEAH.
392
00:13:49,114 --> 00:13:51,581
IT TEACHES YOU RESPONSIBILITY
BRENDON, WHICH IS WHAT YOU NEED.
393
00:13:51,649 --> 00:13:52,793
IT'S A RESPONSIBILITY TESTER,
RIGHT?
394
00:13:52,817 --> 00:13:54,651
SURE.
395
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:56,965
I'LL TELL YOU, I'VE GONE THROUGH
A MILLION FISH——THEY ALL DIE.
396
00:13:56,989 --> 00:13:58,201
YEAH.
397
00:13:58,225 --> 00:14:00,125
BUT YOU GET OVER IT.
YOU GET ANOTHER FISH.
398
00:14:00,194 --> 00:14:02,327
THERE'S A BILLION FISH FOR SALE
IN STORES EVERYWHERE.
399
00:14:02,396 --> 00:14:03,507
YEAH, YEAH...
400
00:14:03,531 --> 00:14:05,264
COACH, I GOT TO ASK YOU A FAVOR.
401
00:14:05,333 --> 00:14:08,133
YOU'VE GOT A CAR, RIGHT?
402
00:14:08,202 --> 00:14:09,881
Judge:
SO, YOU RODE DOWN
THE WRONG SIDE OF THE STREET
403
00:14:09,905 --> 00:14:11,838
INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC?
404
00:14:11,907 --> 00:14:12,639
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING,
BRENDON?
405
00:14:12,708 --> 00:14:13,709
NOTHING.
406
00:14:13,743 --> 00:14:15,309
I... WAIT, NO, I REMEMBER.
407
00:14:15,378 --> 00:14:16,756
I WAS TRYING TO REMEMBER
THE NAME OF THE GUY
408
00:14:16,780 --> 00:14:19,448
WHO PLAYED TRON
IN THE MOVIE TRON.
409
00:14:19,517 --> 00:14:21,650
BRENDON, BRENDON,
YOU BROKE THE LAW.
410
00:14:21,719 --> 00:14:23,920
YOU CAUSED AN ACCIDENT.
411
00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:25,900
I'M AFRAID THAT ACCORDING TO THE
LAW, YOU HAVE TO BE PUNISHED.
412
00:14:25,924 --> 00:14:26,790
PUNISHED?
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
413
00:14:26,858 --> 00:14:28,425
YES, I AM.
414
00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:29,794
I... I THINK THAT'S ABSURD.
415
00:14:29,862 --> 00:14:31,540
WHAT MY CLIENT IS TRYING TO SAY,
YOUR HONOR...
416
00:14:31,564 --> 00:14:33,497
WHO IS THIS?
417
00:14:33,566 --> 00:14:36,167
LOOK, I TOLD YOU YOU COULD COME
BUT YOU COULDN'T TALK, OKAY.
418
00:14:36,236 --> 00:14:37,480
TRUST ME, I'VE TALKED MYSELF OUT
OF A MILLION THINGS LIKE THIS.
419
00:14:37,504 --> 00:14:38,870
NO, JUST... DO NOT TALK.
420
00:14:38,939 --> 00:14:40,217
JUST SHUT UP
AND LET ME HANDLE THIS.
421
00:14:40,241 --> 00:14:41,040
YOU SHUT UP.
422
00:14:41,108 --> 00:14:42,608
BRENDON, IS THIS YOUR GUARDIAN?
423
00:14:42,677 --> 00:14:43,342
I DON'T KNOW.
424
00:14:43,411 --> 00:14:45,245
JON MCGUIRK, YOUR HONOR.
425
00:14:45,314 --> 00:14:47,380
HAVE I SEEN YOU IN COURT BEFORE?
426
00:14:47,450 --> 00:14:50,017
YES, SEVERAL TIMES,
BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT, SIR.
427
00:14:50,086 --> 00:14:52,787
WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS THAT MY
RETARDED NEPHEW IS INNOCENT.
428
00:14:52,856 --> 00:14:54,221
I'M NOT RETARDED.
429
00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:56,091
YES, YOU ARE, BRENDON,
NOW, SHUT UP.
430
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,893
YOUR HONOR, DURING THE DAY
OF THE ACCIDENT
431
00:14:57,962 --> 00:15:01,364
BRENDON WAS SUFFERING
FROM A SEVERE BOUT OF, UH,
432
00:15:01,433 --> 00:15:04,000
MENTALLY CHALLENGED... STUFF.
433
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:05,080
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
434
00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:06,737
MISTRIAL, BRENDON.
435
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:10,476
ALSO, YOUR HONOR, BRENDON
WAS SUFFERING FROM DEMENTIA,
436
00:15:10,544 --> 00:15:12,578
WHICH WAS PASSED DOWN
TO HIM FROM ME.
437
00:15:12,646 --> 00:15:13,779
NOW, WAIT.
438
00:15:13,848 --> 00:15:15,593
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE I AM,
YOUR HONOR.
439
00:15:15,617 --> 00:15:17,517
I GOT HIT...
I WAS HIT BY A CAR.
440
00:15:17,586 --> 00:15:19,853
AH... YOU WERE HIT BY...
RIGHT, SO... SO...
441
00:15:19,921 --> 00:15:21,856
WHAT ARE YOU TELLING ME HERE?
442
00:15:21,924 --> 00:15:25,527
WELL, THAT BRENDON WAS HIT BY
A CAR AND THAT IT WAS HIS FAULT.
443
00:15:25,596 --> 00:15:27,662
YOU'D MAKE A FANTASTIC LAWYER.
444
00:15:27,731 --> 00:15:30,398
NOW, LISTEN, WE'RE NOT DISPUTING
WHO'S AT FAULT HERE.
445
00:15:30,467 --> 00:15:32,568
WE HAVE AN EYEWITNESS
AND POLICE REPORTS.
446
00:15:32,637 --> 00:15:35,137
WHAT I'M DOING IS DECIDING
AN APPROPRIATE PUNISHMENT.
447
00:15:35,206 --> 00:15:37,474
THAT'S THE PHASE OF THE TRIAL
WE'RE AT NOW.
448
00:15:37,543 --> 00:15:39,543
YOUR HONOR, MIGHT I SUGGEST
A SPANKING ON HIS TUSH?
449
00:15:41,014 --> 00:15:42,625
THAT'S IT——ANOTHER WORD
AND YOU'LL BE HELD IN CONTEMPT!
450
00:15:42,649 --> 00:15:44,916
THANK YOU, YOUR HONOR.
451
00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:46,830
OKAY—— ANYWAY, BRENDON,
I'D LIKE TO START OFF BY...
452
00:15:46,854 --> 00:15:48,554
OH, BRUCE BOXLEITNER.
453
00:15:48,623 --> 00:15:49,700
WHAT DID I TELL YOU, MISTER?
454
00:15:49,724 --> 00:15:51,605
I'M JUST SAYING
BRUCE BOXLEITNER
455
00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:53,538
WAS THE GUY IN TRON,
YOUR HONOR.
456
00:15:53,562 --> 00:15:56,597
OH, RIGHT!
THANK YOU.
457
00:15:56,666 --> 00:15:58,377
OH, THANK YOU.
NOW I CAN SLEEP.
458
00:15:58,401 --> 00:15:59,300
McGuirk:
GREAT MOVIE.
459
00:15:59,369 --> 00:16:00,813
Judge:
PLEASE, BOTH OF YOU!
460
00:16:00,837 --> 00:16:02,403
AHEAD OF ITS TIME.
461
00:16:02,472 --> 00:16:05,573
NOW, LISTEN TO ME, BRENDON,
I WANT YOU TO WRITE AN ESSAY
462
00:16:05,643 --> 00:16:07,755
DETAILING EXACTLY
WHY WHAT YOU DID WAS ILLEGAL.
463
00:16:07,779 --> 00:16:09,312
OH, MAN!
464
00:16:09,380 --> 00:16:11,514
YES, YES.
465
00:16:11,584 --> 00:16:13,328
AND IF IT'S GOOD, MAYBE I'LL LET
YOU OFF THE HOOK.
466
00:16:13,352 --> 00:16:14,184
THIS COURT IS A MOCKERY.
467
00:16:14,253 --> 00:16:16,019
AND YOU THERE, MCGUIRK—...
468
00:16:16,088 --> 00:16:17,166
I'D LIKE YOU
TO WRITE AN ESSAY, TOO.
469
00:16:17,190 --> 00:16:19,658
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA...
470
00:16:22,597 --> 00:16:24,196
HELLO, YOUR HONOR.
471
00:16:24,265 --> 00:16:26,505
AS YOU CAN SEE, I'VE DECIDED
TO MAKE A VIDEO ESSAY
472
00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:29,403
IN PLACE OF A WRITTEN ESSAY,
AND TRUST ME,
473
00:16:29,472 --> 00:16:31,416
THIS WILL BE BETTER BECAUSE
MY PENMANSHIP IS ATROCIOUS
474
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:33,575
AND MY SPELLING IS TERRIBLE.
475
00:16:33,643 --> 00:16:36,811
ANYWAY, HERE'S MY PUNISHMENT
AND I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.
476
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:37,746
I LOVE THIS NEW CAR.
477
00:16:37,815 --> 00:16:39,247
ME, TOO.
478
00:16:39,316 --> 00:16:40,527
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE?
479
00:16:40,551 --> 00:16:41,050
WHAT'S THAT?
480
00:16:41,118 --> 00:16:42,552
YOU.
481
00:16:42,621 --> 00:16:44,320
WE SHOULD RUN OVER
SOME CHILDREN.
482
00:16:44,389 --> 00:16:45,433
YES, LET'S GO KILL CHILDREN.
483
00:16:45,457 --> 00:16:47,256
YEAH.
484
00:16:47,325 --> 00:16:48,971
LOOK, THERE'S ONE
RIDING TOWARDS US NOW.
485
00:16:48,995 --> 00:16:50,427
WELL, PUT YOUR SEAT BELT ON.
486
00:16:50,496 --> 00:16:53,131
LET'S SEE WHAT THIS BABY CAN DO.
487
00:16:54,735 --> 00:16:57,636
OH, GOD, I LOVE MY MOTHER
AND THE COUNTRY
488
00:16:57,705 --> 00:16:59,825
AND THE JUDICIAL SYSTEM.
I REALLY LOVE ALL THAT STUFF.
489
00:17:00,976 --> 00:17:03,110
NO!
490
00:17:09,653 --> 00:17:11,665
Paula:
YOU COME HERE YOU BRING SOME
STRANGER INTO MY HOUSE
491
00:17:11,689 --> 00:17:12,899
YOU SAY YOU'LL PICK UP BRENDON,
AND YOU DON'T.
492
00:17:12,923 --> 00:17:15,525
THEN YOU BREAK ALL MY PLATES?
493
00:17:15,593 --> 00:17:17,293
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
494
00:17:17,362 --> 00:17:18,640
Stephanie:
I'LL REPLACE THE PLATES, OKAY?
495
00:17:18,664 --> 00:17:19,874
Paula:
NO.
YOU KNOW WHAT, HERE'S THE THING.
496
00:17:19,898 --> 00:17:21,765
YOU NEED TO TELL ME
WHAT'S GOING ON.
497
00:17:21,834 --> 00:17:22,733
WHAT? I'M A SCREW—UP, OKAY!
498
00:17:22,802 --> 00:17:23,913
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR?
499
00:17:23,937 --> 00:17:25,136
YES... NO... I MEAN NO.
500
00:17:25,205 --> 00:17:25,637
I'M A SCREW—UP!
501
00:17:25,706 --> 00:17:26,604
NO.
502
00:17:26,673 --> 00:17:27,071
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT.
503
00:17:27,140 --> 00:17:27,939
NO.
504
00:17:28,007 --> 00:17:28,406
I CAN'T BALANCE MY CHECKBOOK.
505
00:17:28,475 --> 00:17:29,107
NO.
506
00:17:29,176 --> 00:17:29,608
I SPEND TOO MUCH.
507
00:17:29,677 --> 00:17:30,242
NO.
508
00:17:30,311 --> 00:17:30,743
I'M CLUMSY.
509
00:17:30,812 --> 00:17:31,944
MAYBE.
510
00:17:32,012 --> 00:17:34,091
I'M STUPID, TOO.
HE EVEN HATES MY LASAGNA.
511
00:17:34,115 --> 00:17:34,681
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
512
00:17:34,750 --> 00:17:35,315
RICHARD?
513
00:17:35,384 --> 00:17:36,950
YES!
514
00:17:37,018 --> 00:17:37,884
IS HE STILL ALIVE?
515
00:17:37,953 --> 00:17:39,286
YEAH.
516
00:17:39,355 --> 00:17:43,190
HEY, GO IN THE TRUNK, HOT STUFF
AND GO GET DADDY THE BAT.
517
00:17:43,259 --> 00:17:44,270
SURE THING.
518
00:17:44,294 --> 00:17:47,629
WE'LL FINISH HIM OFF.
519
00:17:47,698 --> 00:17:48,775
OW, HEY, OW——NOT AS HARD.
520
00:17:48,799 --> 00:17:50,033
WELL, I'M TRYING TO KILL YOU.
521
00:17:50,101 --> 00:17:53,102
OKAY, THAT'S IT!
522
00:17:53,171 --> 00:17:55,005
Both:
OW... OW... OW...
523
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,708
STEPHANIE, YOU COULD HAVE
TOLD ME ABOUT THE DIVORCE.
524
00:17:57,777 --> 00:18:01,045
I KNOW, I'M SORRY. I JUST...
I HAD TO GET OUT OF TOWN.
525
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:03,392
YOU KNOW, THE STRESS
WAS KILLING ME.
526
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:04,829
IT'S HIS FAULT.
IT'S HIS FAULT
527
00:18:04,853 --> 00:18:06,185
I ACTED LIKE AN ASS AROUND HERE.
528
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:07,620
WHO CARES WHOSE FAULT IT WAS?
529
00:18:07,689 --> 00:18:09,723
LOOK, YOU CAN DO
ONE OF TWO THINGS:
530
00:18:09,792 --> 00:18:11,369
YOU CAN CRY LIKE A BABY
AND RUIN YOUR OWN LIFE
531
00:18:11,393 --> 00:18:12,637
AND EVERYBODY'S LIFE
AROUND YOU OR...
532
00:18:12,661 --> 00:18:14,661
YOU CAN TRY TO MOVE ON.
533
00:18:14,731 --> 00:18:15,563
BUT RICHARD...
534
00:18:15,632 --> 00:18:17,832
RICHARD'S A JERK!
535
00:18:17,901 --> 00:18:20,013
LOOK, YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A
VICTIM AND YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM.
536
00:18:20,037 --> 00:18:21,203
SAY IT WITH ME.
537
00:18:21,271 --> 00:18:21,904
I'M NOT A VICTIM.
538
00:18:21,973 --> 00:18:22,605
NO, WAIT FOR ME, OKAY?
539
00:18:22,673 --> 00:18:23,739
SAY IT WITH ME.
540
00:18:23,808 --> 00:18:24,907
OKAY, YOU READY?
541
00:18:24,977 --> 00:18:25,709
OKAY, I'M READY.
542
00:18:25,777 --> 00:18:28,211
ONE, TWO, THREE...
543
00:18:28,279 --> 00:18:29,145
Both:
I'M NOT A VICTIM.
544
00:18:29,214 --> 00:18:30,860
I AM A VICTIM!
NOT THEM!
545
00:18:30,884 --> 00:18:33,384
THEY WERE ENCASED IN STEEL!
546
00:18:33,452 --> 00:18:37,389
I ONLY HAD MY FLESH
ENCASEMENT OF FLESH.
547
00:18:37,457 --> 00:18:39,691
THEY SHOULD HAVE
TO WRITE ESSAYS!
548
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:43,663
THEY SHOULD BE PUNISHED.
HIT IT, BOYS!
549
00:18:43,732 --> 00:18:45,677
♪ DON'T KILL CHILDREN
DON'T RUN THEM OVER ♪
550
00:18:45,701 --> 00:18:48,002
♪ LET 'EM LIVE THEIR LIVES
LET 'EM GET OLDER ♪
551
00:18:48,070 --> 00:18:50,404
♪ DON'T KILL CHILDREN
DON'T RUN THEM OVER ♪
552
00:18:50,472 --> 00:18:52,619
♪ LET 'EM LIVE THEIR LIVES
LET 'EM GET OLDER ♪
553
00:18:52,643 --> 00:18:56,879
♪ BRENDON SMALL
HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG ♪
554
00:18:56,948 --> 00:19:02,219
♪ HE WAS RIDING HIS BIKE
THEY TRIED TO TAKE HIS LIFE ♪
555
00:19:02,287 --> 00:19:03,932
♪ DON'T KILL CHILDREN
DON'T RUN 'EM OVER ♪
556
00:19:03,956 --> 00:19:05,556
♪ LET 'EM LIVE... ♪
557
00:19:05,624 --> 00:19:06,902
ALL RIGHT, I'VE SEEN
ENOUGH OF THIS.
558
00:19:06,926 --> 00:19:09,227
BRENDON, I AM VERY
DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.
559
00:19:09,295 --> 00:19:11,496
YOU BLATANTLY FABRICATED
CONTEMPTUOUS MATERIALS
560
00:19:11,565 --> 00:19:12,845
AND MADE A MOCKERY
OF THIS COURT.
561
00:19:14,101 --> 00:19:15,778
YOU REALIZE YOU'LL HAVE
TO BE PUNISHED AGAIN.
562
00:19:15,802 --> 00:19:17,070
W—W—WAIT A...
563
00:19:17,138 --> 00:19:18,471
NO, BRENDON.
564
00:19:18,539 --> 00:19:20,184
YOU WON'T TALK YOURSELF
OUT OF THIS.
565
00:19:20,208 --> 00:19:21,352
I WANT YOU TO SPEND
THE NEXT FOUR MONTHS
566
00:19:21,376 --> 00:19:23,221
WORKING WEEKEND
COMMUNITY SERVICE.
567
00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:25,746
OH, YOU'VE GOT
TO BE KIDDING ME.
568
00:19:25,815 --> 00:19:27,248
I DON'T THINK HE'S KIDDING.
569
00:19:27,317 --> 00:19:29,637
AND THESE NICE FOLKS HAVE AN
ESTIMATE FOR THE CAR ACCIDENT.
570
00:19:33,191 --> 00:19:36,092
GIVE ME THAT!
HERE, TAKE THIS.
571
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,406
900 DOLLARS?!
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING.
572
00:19:38,430 --> 00:19:39,697
I DON'T THINK THEY'RE KIDDING.
573
00:19:39,765 --> 00:19:40,598
BRENDON, YOU'LL HAVE
TO HELP ME WITH THIS.
574
00:19:40,666 --> 00:19:42,767
YES, BRENDON.
575
00:19:42,836 --> 00:19:44,346
AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU
AROUND HERE AGAIN, GOT IT?
576
00:19:44,370 --> 00:19:46,304
YEAH, I GOT IT.
577
00:19:46,372 --> 00:19:48,052
LOOK, I'LL DO
THE COMMUNITY SERVICE.
578
00:19:48,076 --> 00:19:50,020
MOM, I'LL HELP PAY YOU BACK
FOR THE CAR DAMAGE.
579
00:19:50,044 --> 00:19:52,056
BUT YOUR HONOR,
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS:
580
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:55,181
I HAVE LEARNED
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
581
00:19:55,250 --> 00:19:56,449
GOOD DAY.
582
00:19:56,518 --> 00:19:57,418
BRENDON.
583
00:19:57,487 --> 00:20:01,055
I BELIEVE I SAID "GOOD DAY."
584
00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:06,006
HEY, WE SHOULD ALL
HANG OUT AGAIN
585
00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:06,929
WHEN ISABELLA COMES BACK
INTO TOWN.
586
00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:07,999
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
587
00:20:08,066 --> 00:20:09,198
YEAH, IT WOULD BE GREAT.
588
00:20:09,267 --> 00:20:10,734
IT WOULD BE "MAHVELOUS," MATE!
589
00:20:10,802 --> 00:20:13,904
"KANGAROO," "BOOMERANG,"
YOU KNOW?
590
00:20:13,973 --> 00:20:16,774
YEAH, I NEVER DID THAT THING
WITH YOU GUYS, REMEMBER?
591
00:20:16,843 --> 00:20:18,810
RIGHT.
592
00:20:18,879 --> 00:20:21,290
WELL, SERIOUSLY, PAULA,
THANK YOU.
593
00:20:21,314 --> 00:20:22,458
ARE... ARE YOU SURE
YOU DON'T NEED TO STAY LONGER?
594
00:20:22,482 --> 00:20:24,984
NAH, I REALLY, YOU KNOW,
BETTER GET BACK.
595
00:20:25,053 --> 00:20:26,931
I'VE GOT A LOT OF STUFF
TO SORT THROUGH.
596
00:20:26,955 --> 00:20:28,900
WELL, I HOPE EVERYTHING
GOES SMOOTHLY, I REALLY DO.
597
00:20:28,924 --> 00:20:31,692
THAT'S MY CAB.
THANK YOU AGAIN.
598
00:20:31,761 --> 00:20:34,495
OKAY.
WHOA, OKAY.
599
00:20:34,564 --> 00:20:35,030
GOOD—BYE.
600
00:20:35,098 --> 00:20:35,764
ALL RIGHT,
601
00:20:35,832 --> 00:20:37,431
STEPHANIE!
602
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:38,901
STEPHANIE, YOU FORGOT YOUR,
UH...
603
00:20:40,004 --> 00:20:40,435
YOU HAVE BEEN IN THERE
THE WHOLE TIME.
604
00:20:40,504 --> 00:20:41,904
YEAH.
605
00:20:42,707 --> 00:20:43,708
RIGHT.
606
00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:50,092
SAMMY?
GUESS WHO'S HOME.
607
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:51,683
DADDY'S HOME.
608
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,751
WHO'S HUNGRY, HUH?
609
00:20:53,821 --> 00:20:55,754
I AM.
610
00:20:55,823 --> 00:20:59,458
I'M GOING TO EAT IN FRONT OF YOU
WHILE YOU JUST LIE... LIE THERE.
611
00:20:59,527 --> 00:21:01,861
SAMMY?
LITTLE GUY?
612
00:21:01,930 --> 00:21:03,763
SAMMY, TALK TO ME.
613
00:21:03,832 --> 00:21:05,066
YOU'RE JUST SLEEPING, RIGHT?
614
00:21:05,134 --> 00:21:06,233
WAKE UP.
615
00:21:06,302 --> 00:21:08,669
SAMMY, WAKE UP!
616
00:21:12,076 --> 00:21:14,911
OH, MY GOD, SAMMY,
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU?
617
00:21:14,979 --> 00:21:18,214
MAYBE BURY YOU
IN THE BACKYARD OR, UM...
618
00:21:18,282 --> 00:21:20,082
I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU DO
WITH A DEAD FISH?
619
00:21:23,956 --> 00:21:26,858
MAYBE I'LL PUT YOU
IN A LITTLE BOX OR SOMETHING
620
00:21:26,927 --> 00:21:28,426
AND I'LL DRIVE YOU OUT TO THE...
621
00:21:29,831 --> 00:21:32,164
HOLD ON, I'M COMING.
622
00:21:32,233 --> 00:21:34,366
JON MCQUIRK?
623
00:21:34,435 --> 00:21:36,970
UH... NO, McQUIRK
LIVES NEXT DOOR.
624
00:21:37,039 --> 00:21:38,772
I'M JON McGUIRK.
625
00:21:38,841 --> 00:21:40,252
WHO WANTS TO KNOW?
YOU?
626
00:21:40,276 --> 00:21:41,286
I'M AFRAID YOU HAVE
TO COME WITH ME.
627
00:21:41,310 --> 00:21:42,343
FOR WHAT?
628
00:21:42,412 --> 00:21:43,477
MURDER ONE.
629
00:21:43,546 --> 00:21:44,445
HUH?
630
00:21:44,514 --> 00:21:47,282
OH, HOLD ON.
631
00:21:47,351 --> 00:21:50,297
APPARENTLY, YOU FAILED TO TURN
IN AN ESSAY THAT WAS DUE
EARLIER TODAY.
632
00:21:50,321 --> 00:21:51,565
WHOA, WHOA, WAIT, WAIT!
NO, I THOUGHT HE WAS KIDDING.
633
00:21:51,589 --> 00:21:53,623
AFRAID NOT, SIR.
634
00:21:53,692 --> 00:21:55,760
OH, MY GOD, THIS ISN'T MY DAY.
635
00:21:55,828 --> 00:21:57,339
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT
TO REMAIN SILENT.
636
00:21:57,363 --> 00:21:59,241
ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN AND WILL
BE USED AGAINST YOU...
637
00:21:59,265 --> 00:22:03,869
McGUIRK:
OH, NO, NO! NO! SAMMY!
638
00:22:07,508 --> 00:22:09,588
♪ DON'T KILL CHILDREN
DON'T RUN THEM OVER ♪
639
00:22:09,644 --> 00:22:11,912
♪ LET 'EM LIVE THEIR LIVES
LET 'EM GET OLDER ♪
640
00:22:11,981 --> 00:22:14,247
♪ DON'T KILL CHILDREN
DON'T RUN THEM OVER ♪
641
00:22:14,316 --> 00:22:16,495
♪ LET 'EM LIVE THEIR LIVES
AND LET THEM GET OLDER ♪
642
00:22:16,519 --> 00:22:20,689
♪ BRENDON SMALL
HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG ♪
643
00:22:20,757 --> 00:22:24,459
♪ HE WAS RIDING HIS BIKE
THEY TRIED TO TAKE HIS LIFE ♪
644
00:22:24,528 --> 00:22:27,130
♪ WHOO! ♪
645
00:22:27,199 --> 00:22:32,203
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